Deep down, I am a little crazy…. or maybe I should say still a little crazy. It is hard to say what level of crazy I am, but I know it is less crazy than I used to be.
I was so good at hiding the crazy for so long I actually had myself convinced the crazy wasn’t there…. until it was flying out making a mess of everything.
Recently at our Life Group, we talked about how burying emotions is like pushing a beach ball underwater. When you push a beach ball underwater, it often comes up in a somewhat unpredictable manner. The bigger the beachball, the harder it is to keep it under water….. so maybe my level of crazy had gotten pretty big.
Finding people to share the crazy with is so important. I have expressed this sentiment in previous posts. This little section from a post I wrote after time with my sister and my cousins sums up a good deal of what I want to communicate right now:
There is something healing in the sharing. We need to let people into our lives because shared experience is a mathematical phenomenon: the weight of grief is divided and the celebration of joy is multiplied. Life was meant to be lived together.
You see, we need each other. We need to let the crazy out so it doesn’t build and build until we have no choice but to let it explode up out of the depths, splashing emotion and mess in our faces and on those closest to us.
Let your crazy out… in small doses. Let someone else in, so they can bring pieces of sanity and order to the emotions that get messy and tangled. You will find you are not the only one with emotions, and you are not the only one with a need to share. Don’t let your desire to appear sane and perfect isolate you from those who can help you actually be sane.
Let the crazy out.
I have not seen my sister in months, and I miss her greatly. In honor of our shared crazy, I am including the little piece from the same post as the quote above:
She folded my laundry, and I felt her love deeply.
She carried some of the load so that I would not have to.
The filth of living was shared between us
And she created neat piles of order and sanity.
The load is too heavy alone. Share your heart, share your fear, share your dreams, share the crazy. It is worth it.