The other morning I sat on the balcony of our Airbnb rental drinking coffee with an insane amount of cream and sugar, sopping up the orangest of egg yolks with my very American bagel, and taking in the red roofs of a still sleepy city. Suddenly, the stressors of the past year and a half came to mind in a […]
At the end of it all, I found a common thread: I am uneasy, sad, worried, etc. because life is forcing me to acknowledge, once again, how little control I actually have. All the small things have converged in a great conspiracy to teach me yet another lesson on surrender.
We often pray because we desperately want something to change. We pray the suffocating marriage in which each person feels desperately alone will change. We pray the diagnosis, the weather, our awful bosses, or our finances will change.
We know prayer changes things, so we pray and we pray. We just don’t know when, why, or how the change will take place.
Everybody loves a makeover story because we love to see the change from a broken down house or poorly coiffed individual into a home with curb appeal and a person glowing with confidence. What we don’t enjoy nearly as much is the process. Or maybe I’m just talking about how I feel and assuming others feel the same. I never […]
I missed a funeral on Saturday. I am just dipping my toes in to begin to try to process this grief. This is a loss that occurred before it occurred. This is pain mixed with deeper pain, and I am probably trying to process it with the emotional reasoning that research says became frozen in time. So the little girl […]
In that moment I don’t know if I have what it takes to truly know the wonderful mysteries sitting before me on day one. I know they will baffle, thrill, and annoy me to no end. They’ll give me a thousand stories to tell my husband and my friends about the clever, stupid, rude, or sweet things they do all year long. But then the last day will come, and I’ll be thinking, “I don’t want it to end,” and some pain in the butt kid will actually say it right out loud.
AND I WILL BE DONE FOR.
I was overcome with emotion as I watched a family fall to their knees in prayer. Granted it was a fictional family from an over the top Netflix Telenovela/Comedy that many would criticize me for watching, but the scene still resonated deeply within me. I was suddenly emotionally back to the moments I have been brought to my knees, desperately […]