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Coming Up for Air

I had always vowed to leave teaching before I became one of the teachers who was bitter and angry. I left a bit too late. But I had never stopped caring, wanting the kids to succeed, or loving the challenge of finding a new way to bring the content to life.

The passion that kept me afloat was also what wore me out.

I couldn’t stop the frustration of working against a system that disregarded everything research shows us concerning adolescent development. Our administration stripped the teachers of the tools necessary to help students succeed and then blamed the teachers when kids struggled.

I was sinking, and I knew I had to come up for air.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Unmet expectations, failed dreams, and loss of life and security are not new events. They are built into the human experience, and we can continue to live full, peace filled lives if we accept the reality of the now, embrace the mystery of why, and move forward each day.

An Angry Teacher and Mr. Rogers

Well, I was angry. Or I still am. I don’t know in this moment. I had planned to write a post to process my anger when I woke up yesterday. I was going to be open about the fact that I find myself swearing and venting and spewing grossness from inside because I have let anger take my peace, and I was hoping that the grace would come in the confessing.

To All the Students I’ve Loved Before

In that moment I don’t know if I have what it takes to truly know the wonderful mysteries sitting before me on day one. I know they will baffle, thrill, and annoy me to no end. They’ll give me a thousand stories to tell my husband and my friends about the clever, stupid, rude, or sweet things they do all year long. But then the last day will come, and I’ll be thinking, “I don’t want it to end,” and some pain in the butt kid will actually say it right out loud.
AND I WILL BE DONE FOR.

OUT OF FOCUS

I like action and results. I can’t stand when I see things being done wrong, and I am almost always convinced I could do it better, unless of course that thing is parking a car or building something.

This is a problem because I end up trying to do way more than I should. Even my blog is a reflection of this. I write about teaching, church planting, parenting, and running. I can’t even stay focused on one topic for the blog!

My tagline is grace and imperfection because I need a lot of grace for all the areas of imperfection.

So, here is my latest confession of an area in which I need to give and receive grace.

Failing the Students We Pass

Tonight, I want to quit teaching… but I won’t. I work really, really hard to create active, engaging lessons. I read over 150 pages of student writing a week. I give detailed feedback on style, tone, organization, and grammar. I also comment on what students say about themselves, their worlds, and their ideas. I know my students. I LOVE my […]

DO I FAIL YOU?

Dear Suspended Student, For the past couple of days I have been struggling with a question I can’t shake- Did you fail, or did I fail you? You see, I knew from the first day that you were hard, but not unreachable. I knew from the look you gave me when I asked you to take your headphones out and […]

MINISTRY CAN BE LONELY

I have been at pastors’ wives retreats and leadership events/trainings where dealing with the loneliness of ministry has been a topic of discussion. I never really understood it.

It seems I have served in some capacity of ministry my entire life, and I have never felt lonely in ministry… until now.

DOUBT- WHERE WISDOM BEGINS

James 1:5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.   Why are we here? What is the point? Does life have meaning and value? These questions intrinsically reflect doubt. They implicitly challenge the notions that there is a reason for life and that each one of us is significant. […]

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