YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE
I’m having a bit of writer’s block. I am not sure what I most want to express in this moment.
Is it my feeling of being the best teacher ever despite having to kick a student out of the room and call two parents… because this was a good day for that particular block of students?
Is it the fact I am finally hitting my groove with running after months of attempting to recover from injury?
Is it the way my heart could possibly burst at this very moment because of this scene in front of me?
Or… should I do another confession post? Those are always so popular. In my top ten most viewed, liked, and commented on posts are “Chubby Confessions,” “Confessions of a Church Leader,” “Ugly Confessions,” and “Confessions of an Addict.”
I have another area of weakness to confess, but I’m not ready to post it because I haven’t found the grace answer yet. I often find the answers as I write about the areas of failing.
It is the sitting still and thinking that brings me to a point of finding grace. The rushing and moving only allows time for the repeating and loathing.
Maybe I’m a really selfish person. Maybe the reason I love to blog is because of what I get out of it. I love the process. I love forming the thoughts into words and finding an answer for my own lack of grace.
I am being a little harsh on myself because when someone else tells me my blog helped them or they related to it, I feel something so great it is only second to the feeling I get looking at my family.
There is something about hearing I am not alone in the struggle. I am not the only one in need of grace. The best part, though, is the grace. The grace connects us. I love that. Yes, there is connecting in the fighting and the uphill climbing, but the real bond is in the grace and the overcoming.
So, I will write. I will sit down, and I will force myself to look that ugly, shameful, weakness in the eye. I will wrangle it until grace comes through, and then, when it is over, I’ll share it with you.