Rebecca Burtram




Failure has been a great enemy of mine for some time. I have spent years chasing high levels of success and running from the sense of failure nipping at my heels. A glance at my resume would demonstrate that I have worked diligently at overcoming this enemy. Most people view me as a very confident…. possibly cocky…. individual. However, I feel like a failure on a regular basis.

I’ve been trying to shift my perspective, but I still face failure when I look in the mirror and don’t see perfection (physically/emotionally/spiritually). It has been a process, but I am trying to learn to give myself and others some grace.

In an effort to leave myself room to fail, I have decided to come up with a how to for failure (so I can do it successfully).


1. Fail to allow criticism from those without a stake in the game to have an effect on you.

This one is so hard for me. I allow the criticisms of those who don’t really know a complete picture (or have any experience in the area they are willing to criticize) to get to me. I fluctuate between feeling hurt and feeling defensive. For what? If I could learn to fail to care about their thoughts, it would benefit me greatly.

Why let the opinions of those who are not a part of progress weigh you down?

2. Fail to win the argument.

Sometimes, an argument isn’t really about the actions or words that are being debated. Sometimes an argument is about the feelings behind the words and actions. I am trying to learn to hear the feelings.

When someone’s feelings have really been hurt, the argument does not have a winner. I am trying to quit defending the actions and acknowledge the feelings.

3. Fail to focus on every flaw. 

Evaluation is a healthy and excellent tool. However, it is important to remember that part of evaluation is to look at what is right as well as what is wrong. Apply this to yourself and others.


Comment below with other steps to fail successfully so we can all fail together.

By Rebecca Burtram

I am a woman in my mid thirties figuring out how to balance an intense need for perfection with the reality of my own imperfections. The answer I am finding is grace.....and plenty of it.
As a mother of three, a teacher, a church planter, and a runner, I have many opportunities to practice giving myself and others the grace I need to survive.

Grace and Imperfection:

The River Walk (Guest Author on Fridays):


  1. This is a comment from Wendy (on Facebook):
    Fail to compare yourself with others. A big flaw of mine. We all have different God-given talents, each special, unique and valuable. When we choose to use them collectively as one body, things get done! Focus on what YOU can do and stop thinking that your talent isn’t as worthy as someone else’s. Because it is! God bless!

    1. Thank you for the nomination! It will take me a bit to keep the nominations going since I am fairly new to the blogging world, and I do not have 5 blogs that I follow yet.

  2. Rebecca, failure is a humbling process. I understand what you’re saying about perfectionism, I suffer from it too. Actually, I get stressed out and panicky if something isn’t perfect. But then I have to look around at Creation and realize it isn’t perfect. That’s when I can pull back and feel the anxiousness slip away.

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