It can be so hard to see God’s love for us as we face loss and heartache. We wonder where he is, and we struggle to see how he could be working all things together for our good. It is important to understand the nature of God that is revealed in this passage- he is omniscient and omnibenevolent.
When I look into their faces as I read them the poem, I still see the young man (who was almost constantly in a cast of some sort) sitting in a middle school classroom. I see his energy and exuberance in their young and promising eyes, and my heart breaks again… and again… and again.
There is blessing in waiting for an ultra sound to indicate another child is lost; there is blessing in the graveyard spattered with names I love; and there is blessing in the moments of failure. These are blessings I have known in seasons very different from today. They are the blessings that have convinced me life is full of beauty.
I was asked recently to write a one page summary of my testimony. Most testimonies involve a dramatic moment of change. This is not that story. This is the story of a planted seed that was watered and nurtured. It is the story of how I have grown, bloomed, withered, grown, and bloomed again.