Well, I was angry. Or I still am. I don’t know in this moment. I had planned to write a post to process my anger when I woke up yesterday. I was going to be open about the fact that I find myself swearing and venting and spewing grossness from inside because I have let anger take my peace, and I was hoping that the grace would come in the confessing.
I missed a funeral on Saturday. I am just dipping my toes in to begin to try to process this grief. This is a loss that occurred before it occurred. This is pain mixed with deeper pain, and I am probably trying to process it with the emotional reasoning that research says became frozen in time. So the little girl […]
In that moment I don’t know if I have what it takes to truly know the wonderful mysteries sitting before me on day one. I know they will baffle, thrill, and annoy me to no end. They’ll give me a thousand stories to tell my husband and my friends about the clever, stupid, rude, or sweet things they do all year long. But then the last day will come, and I’ll be thinking, “I don’t want it to end,” and some pain in the butt kid will actually say it right out loud.
AND I WILL BE DONE FOR.
I watched Endgame this evening, and I cried with a room full of strangers.
Isn’t that beautiful? We sat in the dark next to our friends or families but also with people we have never seen before and may never see again, and we felt it ALL together. We wept, some of us loudly and openly, and some stifled back the tears with tight throats and hot eyelids… and some *cough *cough my husband *cough *cough laughed at the absurdity of the rest of us joined in grief at the loss of a fictional life.
I firmly believe we should be open to the idea that we might not be right. But, then again, I could be wrong.
I was overcome with emotion as I watched a family fall to their knees in prayer. Granted it was a fictional family from an over the top Netflix Telenovela/Comedy that many would criticize me for watching, but the scene still resonated deeply within me. I was suddenly emotionally back to the moments I have been brought to my knees, desperately […]
Belonging doesn’t occur when we are better, smarter, or prettier. It begins when we accept our areas of weakness as our strengths.
Like many of you, I was thinking about this New Year as I woke up today. I have chosen Proverbs 31:25 as my verse to focus on for 2019. It says, “She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” Here is the deal though; I didn’t feel as though I rang in the […]
And isn’t that the way of grace? Doesn’t it take the messes we have made and find a way to transform them? Although the heart may still be cold or the situation unchanged, grace gives what is undeserved and makes life beautiful.
God, take it all. Let your spirit come and move however you chose. Lead me. Use me. Fill me. Pour me out.
Amen.