I have lost ten pounds since our church opened Easter Sunday and I committed to less of me, more of Him. I’ve been working to be healthier, less prideful, and more reliant on God.

The ten pound loss was not enough to beat my old enemy and intimate companion- chub rub. There is nothing like a good patch of chub rub to keep you humble.

If you don’t have thigh gap, you might be familiar with chub rub. Chub rub is the raw, painful sore caused by the friction of chubby thighs rubbing together during athletic activities- in my case, running.

Last Monday night, chub rub caused me to choose between walking a little funny while wearing a dress and heels to keep my thighs from touching or walking normal and pretending my inner thigh was not on fire. Not a proud moment.

Tuesday night, I had to choose between my cuter tankini that would expose a red patch of raw skin or a swimdress. Neither option screams hot mama.

Yes, I own a swimdress. I bought it to be more conservative and possibly to hide the chubbiness of my thighs….

My neighbor mocked me pretty hard (with love of course) when I told her I bought a swim dress.

I am in this weird place of trying to be fit and healthy but still appreciate my body and the beauty of exactly where I am. I’m also trying to balance how to be a hot wife for my husband and an appropriately conservative pastor’s wife (and pastor)/ woman in her mid 30’s/mama of three.

Thus the mix of a renewed pursuit of fitness and the purchase of a swimdress.

I stand by my claim that the swim dress I bought is still fashionable.

I swear, it is.

No, really, it is cute.

I promise.

As I age, I am finding myself in a weird mix of accepting the realities of chub rub and swimdresses while still fighting the body’s natural inclination to get soft and relaxed.

One of the lessons I am learning is the less I focus on the media image of who I should be and the more I focus on the Biblical image of who God says I am, the healthier I am overall.

On my good days, I run without feeling the need to prove anything to anyone. I run for health and for fun rather than to prove to myself that I am worth something more because I can achieve a pace or a distance. I eat better because I want to take care of the body God gave me, not because I am trying to look like a fitness magazine model. I wear many styles of swimsuits because no one at the pool cares if my thighs are chubby, but also because I don’t need to look “hot” in front of anyone besides my husband.

When pride and ego win out, I do most all the same things, but for the wrong reasons; and I feel a lot less joy in doing them.

As I navigate between pride and humility, I find myself in a love hate relationship with chub rub and swimdresses. I am a work in progress. Maybe I’ll get it all figured out when I am in my 40s… or maybe my 50s.

In the meantime, I hope you will give me an encouraging smile at the pool when you see me in my swimdress or in any other type of swimsuit. Because, really, aren’t we all just trying to figure this life out together?







    • Author gravatar

      Swim dress?! Really?! This made me laugh…a lot. I found that balance at age 40. I embraced my body and found a style of clothing that suited me. Things that fit attractively without pushing the envelope of being overly sexual. Clothes that let me feel comfortable and confident. Clothing that you don’t have to think about when you’re wearing them because everything fits where it belongs and you know it’s appropriate.

      Now swimwear can be tricky. Here’s a good rule of thumb and it can be found in the name, “swimwear.” You wear it to swim. It’s functional. What suit best accommodates the activity of swimming? As a runner, you don’t pick the sneakers you wear based solely on appearance. You pick the pair that best suit the needs of your feet and the kind of running you do. It’s obvious to a true runner that running sneakers are functional. Because so much of our body is exposed in swimwear, it becomes more intimate and tricky than what you put on your feet. But if you look at it not as fashion, but as function, you’ll feel more comfortable.

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      I promise. One hits their 40’s, and God gifts us with balance, the ability to laugh at ourselves and enjoy it & this awesome freedom of not caring what others think while knowing that is it ok to just be you and fall in love with that person. I promise.

    • Author gravatar

      I haven’t hit forty but God has blessed me with the ability to love my thighs they are 45inch round each probably more now. but I have learned rub some powder to avoid chub rub and when you have the sores if you get them athlete foot spray gets rid of the pain and heals it quick. God Bless you this summer on your journey

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