Not long ago, my son’s friend came down our stairs carrying “Big Doggy,” a stuffed animal my son received when he was just a baby. He was excited to show his mother the giant, plush dog because he has a similar one at home. These boys are both over 5’6″ tall and 12 years old.
They spent their time together playing football and basketball and inhaling huge plates of spaghetti, but they were completely comfortable admitting to sleeping with snuggly stuffed animals.
My son is almost a man, but not a boy -not old enough to drive or to date, but old enough to run the leaf blower and watch siblings for an hour or so, old enough to need to shave the peach fuzz above his lip, but too young to grow a mustache.
I am happy to see my son currently taking this transition in stride. He seems content to live in the moment. He does not mention a desire to be younger and babied, nor does he push for the freedom of the later years of youth.
While reflecting on my son, I realized my own struggle to embrace my own place of in-between. I am striving to appreciate where I am, not long for the security of what we have recently left or become impatient to see the results of the groundwork we are laying.
We are no longer two full time salaried professionals. We left our old jobs at the start of the summer, and we will launch the church this spring. We are building a team, but we are not the pastors of a full congregation yet. We are in the middle.
We constantly have to tell ourselves not to worry about the fact we gave up financial security, and we have to restrain ourselves from becoming impatient to see the church up and running.
It is a time of faith testing. We have to believe God will provide all the finances, guide us as we work, and send the right people to join the launch team.
I wish I could say I am rocking this middle phase the way my son is, but I find myself fluctuating between complete confidence in exactly where we are and utter terror because we are neither where we used to be nor where we are headed.
If you are also somewhere in the middle, I pray that God will help you to find peace and grace as you live in these moments. If you think of it, pray for me too!
God, thank you for your grace! I am so grateful to know I can keep putting my life in your hands, and you will carry me through. I am blessed beyond measure, and I thank you for your provision and your vision. Help me to rest in you and enjoy the place to which you have brought me. Amen!