Sex and Lies: What Are You Teaching Your Kids?
What do your kids know about sex?
“I can have sex with anyone I want.”
This was the boast on a radio show this morning. I was instantly struck by how ridiculous it sounded to me.
Our culture promotes the idea that sex with as many people as possible is desirable.
What a lie.
I don’t want to be naked, vulnerable, and intimate with as many people as possible!!! That sounds like a perfect storm for insecurity, doubt, and confusion.
Sex is a great thing for a million reasons. I don’t know why or how the empty using of others for personal pleasure has become the popular mindset about sex.
Sex is meant to bring people together in mutual pleasure, potentially create life, and express emotion. So many have twisted it into something that turns others into objects for our own pleasure.
I am determined to help my children understand the truth about sex. My poor kids have been part of many conversations after listening to a song on the radio, watching a movie, or viewing a seductive advertisement.
This is what I try to include in each conversation:
- Sex is a really good thing.
- It is 100% okay and natural to be sexually attracted to someone.
- People are way more than objects for your sexual pleasure and should always be treated with respect.
- Physical touch should be a mutual expression of emotion and desire between two consenting individuals.
- Sex is best when it is in a committed and loving relationship. You are able to be 100% naked, open, and vulnerable when you trust that the person you are with is committed to you and you alone. There is no comparison, competition, fear of rejection, or empty objectification.
There are many lies about sex that are repeated so often that they seem true. As awkward as it can feel for my kids, I’m determined to be a voice of truth so they can experience the best sex has to offer some day.
They are 13, 11, and 9, but we talk about it. It matters.
I’m raising people, and I want to raise people who are able to appreciate all the good the world has to offer. If I won’t talk to them about sex, they will only have one narrative, and that narrative is an empty lie.
America has lost its feeling for life and morals. This free-for-all sex attitude seen in America today is I believe a major cause, for the condition we see in America nowadays. It is also the single cause of over 55 million deaths of the child still in its mother. Free sex will always lead to Abortion. Sex belongs only to a man and woman married to each other.
One of the great ways to explain sex from a biblical worldview is to say that the goal of sex is to be a good gift to the other. Sex for self gratification leads down a terrible road: objectification, self glorification, forcefulness, and justification of hurtful actions. When we live as a good gift to our spouse we are working to die to our own selfishness, ensure that our partner is sexually satisfied, in-tune with their needs/emotionally attentive/relationally connected, etc. As a good gift there is no body shaming, no unfavorable comparison with imaginary ideals driven by porn and unrealistic expectations. Being a good gift creates boundaries in the relationship that create security and stability. A good gift makes sure that the partner is fully satisfied. A promiscuous/self oriented worldview of sex could never offer the same level of satisfaction that being a good gift in a marriage relationship can create.
This is so good!