Today I am sitting in a writer’s conference waiting for the presentation to end so I can have my thirty minute time slot with the agent to discuss the portion of my manuscript I sent in.
I am nervous. I don’t want to be told everything that is wrong with my writing. I am intertwined with my writing. If she does not like my book, it will be hard. It will feel as though she is saying she does not like me. It doesn’t matter in the least that I know the truth- criticism of my work is not a direct criticism of me.
Sometimes our emotions ignore the truth.
Now, I know I probably should walk into the meeting feeling confident of my work. However, I am trying to be realistic in my expectations. This is my first book, and I just might not find success in round one of meeting with an agent. If the agent doesn’t want to represent me, it will be hard to hear. I am ready for the possibility of being knocked down. I am also ready to get back up.
In every area of life, we have opportunities to fall down and opportunities to get back up. This summer, I watched my daughters climb to about the same height over and over again, yet when they fell, they got back up. The kept trying, and, eventually, they found themselves climbing higher and higher.
Staying down prevents you from falling, but it also prevents you from making it further than you had before. I have a back up plan for today. I am praying for either a positive meeting with the agent or at least a gentle let down. Regardless of what happens in about an hour from now, I am prepared to keep climbing.
I’ll keep you posted, and I promise… if I fall, I will get back up.